The return of Gaston a.k.a Tom Burns

Worthing Azurians1755 St Francis

Tries: Bruce 3, Wessels 3, Morgan 1, Goodayle 1
Cons: Crawley 3, Wessels 3
Pen:  Crawley

St Francis continued their winning way with a well-earned 17-55 victory over Worthing Azzurians.

St Francis begin the half strongly, as surprise, surprise Tom Bruce scored to give the Saints a 7 – 0 lead. A penalty extended the Saints lead to 10-0 before Bruce went over again to put St Francis 17-0 in front.

Then it was the turn of the Debutant Richardt Wessels to go over! Richardt joins the club till the end of the season after securing a working visa with Nandos. St Francis would like to credit Nandos as a) it doesn’t run out of chicken like KFC and b) We would like to thank them with supplying us with our fine SA contingent. St Francis went into half time with a 24-0 lead.

The second half saw that man, that fine specimen of a man Tom Bruce completing his hat trick. Yet it also saw Chris Goodayle, and Angry Ant Man go over. The game finished with Wessels completing his hat trick – it was a great debut for Wessels as the game finished 17-55.

Nevertheless the main point was the return of Tom Burns a.k.a Gaston and here’s the story of how he came back to play for St Francis.

Please sing in the form of  the song: Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

Tom Burns: Who does Heath think he is?

That club has tangled with the wrong man!

No one says "no" to Tom Burns!

LeHeron: Huh! Darn right.

Tom Burns:Dismissed! Rejected!

Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

LeHeron: More beer?

Tom Burns:What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

LeHeron: Who, you? Never! Tom Burns, you've got to pull yourself together.

LeHeron: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Tom Burns

Looking so down in the dumps

Ev'ry club here'd love to be you, Tom Burns

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in Crawley as admired as you

You're ev'ryone's favorite guy

Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's rucks as Tom Burns

No one kicks as Tom Burns

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Tom Burns

For there's no man in Crawley half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Bruce, Hand or Peacocke

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

LeHeron and Chorus:

No one's hung like Tom Burns

A king pin like Tom Burns

LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Tom Burns

Tom Burns: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

LeHeron and Chorus: My what a guy, that Tom Burns!

Give five "hurrahs!"

Give twelve "hip-hips!"

LeHeron:Tom Burns is the best, And the rest is all drips

Chorus: No one fights like Tom Burns,

Jackles like Tom Burns

LeHeron: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Burns!

Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny

Tom Burns: As you see I've got biceps to spare

LeHeron: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

Tom Burns:That's right! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

Chorus: No one hits like Tom Burns,

Matches wits like Tom Burns

LeHeron: In a spitting match nobody spits like Tom Burns

Tom Burns: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!

Chorus: Ten points for Tom Burns!

Tom Burns: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs,

Ev'ry morning to help me get large,

 And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs,

So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Chorus:Oh, ahhh, wow! My what a guy, that Tom Burns!

No one rucks like Tom Burns

Makes those beauts like Tom Burns

LeHeron: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Tom Burns

Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

Chorus: My what a guy, Tom Burns!

Special mention for all those who travelled down with the club, supporters, we thank you and substitutes sorry you did not get on but we do appreciate the effort every one of you made to come down!

Peacocke, Perry, Sparkes, Devlin, Crawley, Williamson, Lamplough, Burns, Schoultz, Goodayle, Bruce, Morgan, Poole, Pique, Wessels

McGahan, Bawden, Etherington, Vearney, Hand

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